yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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