she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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