You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
