My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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