Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
