sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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