Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
