I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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