I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize