You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
