it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
