My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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