Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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