this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
