the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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