I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
