Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
