its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
