Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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