I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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