I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
