who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
