Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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