so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
