Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
