Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I got inside last night via doggy door
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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