Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Randomize
