Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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