you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
