Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
