I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
