my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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