planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
