I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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