I want to have your abortion
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
