OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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