She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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