My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
