is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Found your dick twin last night
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
