well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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