I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
