she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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