Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
