I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
