real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
