Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
ttyl tear gas
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
