Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
its liver damage thursday
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
