Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
