Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
3 2 1 whiskey
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
