Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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