I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I wish I only lived at night.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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