you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize