I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
North Korea, Best Korea!
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
