I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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