It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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