I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
