is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
