we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
