i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
