party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
