the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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