apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Randomize
