She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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