How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
